The Dos and Don'ts of Marriage..
To some marriage is scary and to some it's the one thing they've wanted their whole life. I can tell you that I was both. I wanted my whole life to be married and I was always seeking a man in my life that I could share things with, however I've never been the girl willing to settle or the type to be super clingy. I wasn't going to run down the isle for anyone, and when the day of my wedding came I was so nervous! Even knowing Matt was the one and we had completed plenty of marriage counseling and life together, gosh I was till scared. I can attest to it being one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life and I hope these do's and don't's can ease your mind a little if you are finding yourself overwhelmed. Marriage is a lot of fun and full of so many wonderful things even though it's hard, so don't get or be nervous!
Do Say I Love You Every Day
This is so important for men and women. It is so easy to get caught up in your day to day life, fall out of the "honeymoon" stage and just assume that the other person knows how much you love them. Make this a priority because no matter if we admit it, we all need to hear this everyday.
Do Make Quality Time A Priority
Again spending time together can be easily checked of by normal routines like going to the store, spending an hour watching TV together after work or by going to a friends party on the weekend. For a woman most of us need a little more one on one time, like a date night once a month or a get-a-way we can look forward to. And once you add a child...if you aren't good at making one another a priority, it only becomes harder. Men need to feel wanted as well and I tell Matt all the time, it's easier to do that when we are alone on a date or taking a drive to look at the stars, not when I have Hayes wanting me to hold him or needing to be fed. Find SOMETHING that you both enjoy and make it a must to do.
Do Always Have Faith
There will be times of trial in your marriage especially the further you get into it and the more tough times you go through. Matt and I have been through so many even before marriage that I thought it would make marriage easy and it hasn't. Loosing faith however can be very easy, so go to church together, pray together and when you're in a tough time have faith because it will get better.
Do Pray Together
If you don't pray together you won't make it. Every marriage needs God and every relationship with Christ needs prayer. Prayer can be one of the most vulnerable things to do in front of one another but it is so freeing and SO POWERFUL. Make it a daily habit to do in your nightly routine and watch the changes God will make happen.
Don't Be Self-Seeking
Being self-seeking is one of my worst flaws. It's something I pray about with God and I try to be aware of changing. I told you I'm not one to settle so getting easily frustrated when things don't go perfectly, well BINGO. But I've learned through counseling that I've got to be more aware of Matt's needs and wants and try to make them happen as well. Plus if a man is happy, he'll make you happy! You have got to be so self-less when it comes to love. Doing things, expecting nothing in return and this is a part of any relationship.
Don't Go To Bed Mad
No matter what has happened, it's not worth saying the mean things, so instead work it out and say I'm sorry. A marriage can't build if you go to bed angry and it hurts your heart to not forgive someone more than it hurts them.
Don't Hold On To The Past
The past can be so dangerous, so ignore it, don't bring it up and let it go. It's that simple. If you say I'm sorry move forward and let each new obstacle become it's own and not pile on top of one another! You'll be more sane.
Don't Compare Your Marriage To Others
Comparing ourselves in this world is super easy to do with social media. I know this is so common in the world, comparison, but we've got to stop. We don't know the story of others or their relationship and hearing a few words of affirmation from another couple can be very deceiving. Be present in your own marriage and work on your marriage because everyone has their own problems.
These are just some things Matt and I work on and make priorities! I strongly encourage you and your spouse to go to counseling if you didn't do pre-marriage counseling! It's not for the bad, it's to be healthy and continue having a strong love!
If you want to know details of my bridal look, check out this Blog: My Dream Wedding, BRIDALS.
All photos courtesy of 3 Birds Photography!